I'm tired. That's all.

I don't know how to deal with this immense sadness. I only notice it late at night when I'm the only one in the apartment and I realize that every one is so far.

I feel out of it, and yet I can't be out of it. I have to be on top of my shit. So prepared and ready that I got to help everyone else. And you know what? Sometimes I don't feel like doing that. Hey, you're the one that needs the help, so why don't you take the initiative and come ask me?

It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have all this pressure on me to have it together and help other's fix their problems. Don't they know I don't got it all together? Most of the time it's just an act.

That's just the work stuff. I must look like even more of a fraud when I'm the one working with students and others to fix their problems and I do little about mine. I tried. It was so fuckin' hard, and still nothing feels resolved.

I'm tired.

Me siento: despondent
Escuchando: "me vale" por mana

M�s reciente:
Searches - 09.16.05
the big move - 07.29.05
mother and daughter: a comparative analysis - 07.28.05
jardineros y dom�sticas - 07.27.05
tough question - 07.25.05

antes // despu�s