I know they�re just being nice and all, but will people quit asking me how my weekend went? I�ve only told a couple of people and when I told Chispa quickly today I almost started crying again. I called Vane yesterday after I cried in bed. I couldn�t be left alone in misery for too long though because I had to go to Ome�s birthday dinner. I had to blink back tears when she joked around with Bryant, about me having two boyfriends. Ooh� I wanted to smack her for being so fuckin� insensitive. I had even talked to her on Saturday about how Dom and I were on the verge of breaking up, but she didn't know the whole story. So, I just looked away and told Ome to shut up and she understood quickly.

So, after dinner I called Yo to talk about some fluff and quickly slipped in the news too. I had talked to her on Saturday too so I don't think it was too surpising. I guess I just wanted to make it as quick and painless as possible. I love Yo� if I was at home she�d probably baby me with yummy ice cream and a Gilmore Girls and Smallville marathon.

I know that I need to keep my mind off this, even though it�s all I can really think about. And all these little things keep reminding me of him, like a Prince song (�I could never take the place of your man�) on VH1 Soul. Dom actually played the melody of that song on a kazoo and then recorded it. When I visited him, he played the recording but I hadn�t heard the song since then. It�s hard, dealing with mutual friends (ie Tim, Lamont, Johnny) and trying not to mention him because I don�t want to get all emotional.

I think I made a pretty worthless counselor today too because as hard as I tried I couldn't get my mind off of it. In one session, my student even started asking me the questions (he already knew me and it wasn't his first session).

So� I�m just trying to get by one day at a time (can you tell I grew up in house where AA was a fixture?).

[Mil gracias to the lovely folks in diarylandia who left kind words... I guess I just make it seem like I'm okay and handling this maturely.]

Me siento: numb
Escuchando: the giants vs. braves game

M�s reciente:
Searches - 09.16.05
the big move - 07.29.05
mother and daughter: a comparative analysis - 07.28.05
jardineros y dom�sticas - 07.27.05
tough question - 07.25.05

antes // despu�s