I do this thing with him called the question game. It started out as a way to make a normally drab conversation more interesting. Plus, we uncover each other�s secrets and get to see different levels. There are times when we�re allowed to ask anything and other times when we have a �get out of jail free card.�

He gave me two cards and gave himself one after he had to answer a question he later admitted he was embarrassed about. We both used our cards once throughout the game, everything else was answered honestly. I hope.

See, I really value honesty, even if it is a little mean. I�ve been in relationships with friends, family and men (non-platonic) in which there is a lot left unsaid. In those situations, honesty is sometimes often difficult.

As much as I love my mother, father, and brothers, there is a lot they don�t know about me. In fact, there are four people I can count (Lori, Chispa, Ome, and Isa) that I could say truly know me. If I suddenly disappeared, these four women�s memories could be purged to recreate a picture of the current me. They know my triumphs and failures. They can tell you what will make me laugh out loud, what will make me clam up, and what drink I�ll order at the bar. However, you would not be able to take one of the women, say my sister Lori, and get a complete picture of who I am. Lori could tell you about my childhood, who I crushed on in twelfth grade and what shoe size I wear, but she can�t tell you what happened at that party back in October. On the other hand, Ome, Chispa and Isa could tell you all the details, including the aftermath.

I can�t keep a secret. Well, I lied.

I�m great at keeping secrets when they belong to someone else. If you tell me something with the caveat that I do not repeat said information, I�ll follow your directions. Of course, there are instances when following your directions might not be a good thing, but those are rare.

For the two years that I worked as a counselor, I got used to keeping others� secrets. I felt like a Catholic priest in a confessional. In any given week, I�d meet with half a dozen students in tiny rooms. I�d hear dozens of secrets that never left my lips. Confidentiality was a key part of my job and it was understood between the student and I that I would not talk about his family issues with my roommates or blab about his difficulty in a certain class with other students and staff. After the session, I�d pretty much forget about the secrets and would not think again of them until the next time I met with the student.

I can keep a secret, but not when it comes to me. I feel the need to let someone know about everything. Chispa, Ome, Isa, and Lori all have bits of information about me, but neither one of them know all the secrets. I like it better that way. Plus, it�s just too much information if you�ve only known me 20 years or about 7 years.

Me siento: nerviosa
Escuchando: "umi says" by mos def

M�s reciente:
Searches - 09.16.05
the big move - 07.29.05
mother and daughter: a comparative analysis - 07.28.05
jardineros y dom�sticas - 07.27.05
tough question - 07.25.05

antes // despu�s