sunshine
02.23.03 // 4:30 p.m.

"It don't take a whole day to recognize sunshine."
The Light, by Common

There's a new boy in my life. Well, he's not exactly new since I have known him for a little while. He was just a friend then, but now we've crossed the thin line between friends and more than friends.

It took us me a while to cross that line. I kept holding back, never able to actually utter the words that came to mind every time he said, "I like you." I squirmed in my seat, a little uncomfortable, smiled, sighed and then said something weird like "thanks" or "I like that you like me."

I really wanted to say it back to him. I wondered if it even mattered. My actions towards him already seemed to speak for my silences. But according to a guy friend, nothing is ever that obvious to a boy.

I held back for many reasons. I wasn't ready at the time to just put myself out like that. I didn't know what exactly saying the words would mean, how they'd change things, if at all.

I said the words a few days before Valentine's Day.

"I like you, Secu*."
"That's the first time you've said it."
"I know."

I'm ready for sunny days.

[*The new boy will be known as Secu for now on. I forgot what it felt like to be so happy and smile so much.]

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Me siento: sunny
Escuchando: ghost on la tele

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antes // despu�s


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