03.29.02 // 1:01 a.m.

The day started like any other. Mom woke me up to see if I’d be going to 10 am Mass. I replied yes, and 20 minutes later I was still in bed with no desire whatsoever to get up. I was exhausted and wanted to return to the dream in which Dom made a mix tape for me of songs that reminded him of me. But once I said yes, Mom held me to it.

So, I went to Mass and saw a bunch of people I usually see. It was different though. Many of our closest friends knew about Yo and they would hold Yo and I longer when they hugged us. Yo began getting teary during one of the hymnals and leaned against me. I held her hand for most of the Mass.

She ran out earlier than everyone else to try and talk to Chris R. I think she barely got to talk to him. Once the Mass ended I went out and looked for her everywhere. I finally found her on a bench across the lawn by the classrooms. A few feet away sat a statue of Jesus kneeling and weeping in the Garden of Gethsemane. I wonder if that’s how Yo felt, like God had forsaken her too.

We grabbed brunch at a greasy diner and then went home. It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm, but Yo changed into older clothes and got back into bed. She didn’t feel up for going out with me, Dom and some other friends. I still needed to return to LA for my car and more clothes. Dom stopped by with Gene and Ralph, two of his best friends. I can’t be more thankful to Ralph for getting her to come along with us.

Yo wore a short sleeve t-shirt without her “princess” sweater on while we were in Dom’s van. I was afraid Ralph might see the scars from where she had cut herself, but either he didn’t notice or didn’t mention it to us.

Later, at Roscoe’s he continued joking around with her. It seemed like she was okay then. Maybe she was glad that the only people in the party of 12 who knew were Dom and myself.

The tough part came when I had to leave Dom. I couldn’t thank him enough for just being here through the weekend. He was everything I needed him to be.

Chris and Lamont dropped me off at my apartment where Vane was watching the Oscars. Lori waited around for me to pack. When we got home around 8 my Tío Chuy, Tía Luisa and cousin René were over. I talked to René when we went to pick up some pizza, but once we got back things seemed like they had been just a week earlier. Yo popped in an old home video from ’88, we laughed at ourselves and nothing seemed different.

Mom made us pray together as a family that night like we used to do when we were younger. We prayed that the therapist Yo had an appointment with on Monday would be good, or “not a jerk” as Yo wished.

I slept and thanked God that we survived one more day.

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