Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again
(from "Love Song" by the Cure)

"I dedicate this to Rosie, because she came to see me, and Ahmir." I should have known that because he was dedicating a song to her, he was going to sing a cover. We talked about it in the car too. DeLa will only sing a cover for Rose.

DeLa began with a beautiful rendition of The Cure's classic "Love Song." Despite the beauty of the song, singer and setting, I wanted to evaporate. I no longer wanted to be in the upstairs room of a Zen sushi bar somewhere in the hills of Silverlake. The calmness of the room and DeLa's soothing voice provided some balance for the wave of feelings that washed over me with the first few words. But it wasn't enough.

I still wanted to leave.

I wanted to be alone with him, in his arms, in his bed, just looking at his eyes. I just want to sleep with him and wake up next to him and not keep thinking, 'I only have two more days with him.'

I want to feel whole again, like everything is right and safe in the world... at least when we're together. I want him to be able to cheer me up and never make me feel bad again. I don't need him to feel whole. No I don't. He just makes the whole me glow.

I miss him so much it doesn't make sense to even write it anymore. I want to hear his voice reassure me that everything will be okay, like he just knows the situation will turn out for the best. I want to be with him so badly. But I can't. I feel so helpless and alone.

I hate this feeling and I hate the Cure too. I hate DeLa for nearly making me cry with his cover and I hate Arshad for choosing to listen to the Cure on our way to see DeLa. And I hate that he's right. The Cure's songs make me want to cry.

Me siento: deprimida
Escuchando: Wish by the Cure

M�s reciente:
Searches - 09.16.05
the big move - 07.29.05
mother and daughter: a comparative analysis - 07.28.05
jardineros y dom�sticas - 07.27.05
tough question - 07.25.05

antes // despu�s