Self righteousness
04.13.02 // 4:25 p.m.

Eligio, Vane, Ralph and I were standing around waiting to take a picture with Dolores Huerta after the award dinner. Dolores received the 2002 C�sar E. Ch�vez Spirit Award for her life long work tirelessly struggling for the rights of farm workers.

Chispa and her date, Adrian, had just left when Ralph immediately disguised a question in a statement, �I didn�t know Chispa�s boyfriend was an RZA-er.�

Vane then sticks in her self-righteous nose and asks, �Chispa�s boyfriend is in RZA? I�m going to have to have a talk with her.�

By this point I felt myself probably getting as nervous and antsy as Chispa was just a few minutes ago. She and I both knew very well that Vane and Ralph would respond in such a way. This didn�t surprise me. They have a right to their own opinions, but ultimately Chispa can date whoever the hell she wants.

�He�s not her boyfriend, who�d you get that from?� I asked, ready to pounce on the rumor spreader.

�That�s what Eligio told me,� Ralph quipped.

I should have smacked Eligio upside the head for spreading rumors. He put up his hands, and assured me that he thought Adrian was Chispa�s boyfriend.

�But still�� Vane tried to argue with me.

�You know, it�s not like she�s dating all of RZA. Adrian is an individual.� I told her.

�That doesn�t make it any better,� she replied sticking to her stance that she had the right to tell Chispa that she should not date Adrian because of his membership in a fraternity.

I ended the conversation as suddenly as it started by basically telling Vane to just mind her own business and assured her that Chispa knew very well all about the frat issue.

I could�ve just been really mean about it and said what I was thinking:

Why are you going to have to talk to her? As if you�re free from some stupid dating mistakes. If she wanted your opinion she would�ve asked you a long time ago. Do you think she doesn�t know what she�s doing? She�s a grown ass woman! She can date whoever the fuck she wants.

Do you know that he makes her happy, that he treats her well and with respect? Do you even care? No, probably not, but you did give a fuck when your boyfriend asked her out. Yes, I remember you crying your eyes out to me. You fucked up. Gabriel was trying to move on and he asked Chispa out at her welcome back party. Do you know in how awkward a situation she was back then? What if she would have said yes? She wouldn�t have though. She cares about you and doesn�t tell you who to date. So just keep your opinions to yourself about this issue. Besides, you�re one of the last people who should be talking.

I love my roommate which is why I said the very nice and edited version of what I wrote above. I didn�t even mention the Gabriel thing because I know it would have really hurt her. Those were tough times for both of us.

I�m much closer to Chispa and love her even more, which is probably why I got so defensive. When she initially told me about it, I didn�t think much of it. Honestly, I like Adrian, and I like that he makes her happy. I don�t know what I would have done in her position though. We�ve talked a lot about it, and I always assured that I would support her in whatever she did. Isn�t that what unconditional love is about? We�re too alike, we both care too much about what others think, especially those closest to us.

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Searches - 09.16.05
the big move - 07.29.05
mother and daughter: a comparative analysis - 07.28.05
jardineros y dom�sticas - 07.27.05
tough question - 07.25.05

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