Rejection letter
04.18.02 // 11:44 p.m.

I had butterflies in my stomach earlier. I was almost certain that when I got home from my busy day at school I would find a letter from Teach for American telling me thanks, but no thanks.

I applied to TFA basically because I had nothing to lose but was never quite sure if I wanted to do it or not. The program is part of Americorps and I kept getting this vibe from former corps members who were recruiting people to apply. I had this feeling that they felt they were going to be the saviors of these children in the barrios and ghettoes. I didn�t know if the program was for me, and I didn�t think I was the kind of person TFA was looking for.

I went to my interview with Isa a few weeks ago. She didn�t want to be there, but I insisted she go with me so I wouldn�t be stuck in a group with a bunch of strangers. Later, she told me she was going to reject TFA before they rejected her. She was convinced she wouldn�t get in. I took the same approach, but Isa kept telling me I�d get in.

The decision letters were supposed to go out by the 17th. Isa im�ed me this afternoon to let me know that she got her letter. I was nervous to go home. I was expecting the letter.

I got home. It was there on the table. Thanks, but no thanks it said in words that were a bit more eloquent. This means one less option post-graduation. It also means that I�ll be applying to graduate school this fall. This time, I�ll do it right, and at least I have all those tests out of the way.

Isa didn�t even believe me when I called her with the news. Vane says Isa and I are too good for the program. Maybe we are. I�m not sad. I didn�t cry this time like I did when UCSD rejected me as a senior in high school. I�m cool with TFA�s decision and now it�s time to explore my options for the year I�ll be out of school.

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