I hate to feel like I�m giving up on someone or something, and that�s how I feel right now.

I know I have said this once before in here, but I�ll repeat myself. Even though things with Dominic are rocky at times, I still feel extremely lucky and blessed to have him in my life and be so close to him. We�ve known eachother for a year now, and I can�t imagine what the last year would have been like if I never had gone to Chris� party.

My Dad had to go to the hospital on Saturday. He had some chest pains, so he and my mom went. I didn�t know that the same thing had already happened once. After staying there over night, some nitroglycerin treatment and lots of tests to see if he really was having heart problems, they released him Sunday morning.

You know what I�ve noticed about my family? We�re really matter of fact about these types of things. Saturday night I asked my mom how she was doing, hoping to get her to talk about she felt about Dad being sick, but she just talked about her sore toe.

When Dad came home, he was really precise about the details, but talked little about his worries. I don�t think any of us let it get to us, or at least let someone else know. I was a little scared. I knew he was at the hospital, but didn�t want to go. I hate that place. Whenever I go, someone�s dying or something.

So, the tests were pretty inconclusive, and Dad will have to return in October.

When Adrian first told me, something finally made sense. A few days after I bought my car, Dad called my cell (well, it was my mom�s but I had it for the week) and left a message that had me a little worried and bothered. He was driving home after an appointment.

�Cindy, I just called to tell you that I was thinking of you, and love you. I was driving home right now.�

That wasn�t the weird part. What disturbed me, and made me stop as I made my way to the parking garage was the really long silence. I knew he wasn�t done.

When he began speaking again, he was choked up. Oh no, I thought, what�s the bad news? Seriously, the way he was speaking, I thought someone had died. Now that I think of it, I know that Dad would never leave a message like that for me. (My brother did it once and it was devastating).

�I�m very proud of you, Cindy�� And then, that was it. I guess he was cut off.

Sometimes, I wonder what it must be like to never be told by your mother or father that they love you. I think it�s what gets me through the day sometimes, especially those when I think that no one is worried about me.

Me siento: blessed
Escuchando: nada

M�s reciente:
Searches - 09.16.05
the big move - 07.29.05
mother and daughter: a comparative analysis - 07.28.05
jardineros y dom�sticas - 07.27.05
tough question - 07.25.05

antes // despu�s