y todos dicen, que no te quiero
06.03.04 // 8:15 p.m.

I keep hearing the same question: are you excited about going back to school?

I answer honestly, "sometimes."

The truth is, I haven't really thought about it much, because when I do I get headaches and I feel mild anxiety attacks coming on. I know that I'm ready for it; the intensity of the coursework doesn't scare me. I'm much more nervous about the thought of finances.

If the only thing I had to worry about was school, rent and supplies, I think I'd be fine with the amount of aid I have and my job as a research assistant (which covers my fees!). However, I'm scared about how I'll pull up the extra change to just live and for transportation, read: car note, insurance and insanely expensive gas.

See why I don't want to think about things like this! Wouldn't you get a headache too? I might be worrying more than I need to.

Perhaps some of my questions on financial aid might be answered tomorrow during the HEOC Spring Orientation. I get to meet the other students in my cohot. Frankly, I'm not that excited about it. I'm scared they won't like me or that I'll be intimidated because they all have stellar credentials and look/sound like students in a PhD program.

I should just calm down.

I'm anxious about the summer too. My only goal for it (at least for right now) is to go to México, visit my cousins in Guanajuato, stay at my grandparent's house in Zacatecas and relax. I'm not exactly sure if I can do this because of money. Grr.

Oh yeah, I failed to mention this last week, but I got the position I interviewed for. I'll be one of four graduate student representatives on the Community Activities Committee. CAC is a funding board for community service programs. I'm pretty familiar with it considering that more than half of the programs in the CPO get their base budget funding from this source. I also get a $700 stipend each quarter. That's nice. Oh... but the thing that worries me about CAC is that there are meetings late in the summer which coincide with the time I might have wanted to be in México. Sigh... I'll make it to the motherland this summer, nothing is going to stop me.

I avoided a potentially awkward situation this weekend. I should thank Eric and Claudia for picking Memorial Day weekend for their wedding.

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Me siento: still annoyed
Escuchando: "hay unos ojos" interpretado por linda ronstadt

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