Do you ever reminisce about those people who were once significant parts of your life and are now merely more than a simple acquaintance?

At one point, you were best friends, maybe even more. You spent countless hours sharing your deepest secrets, laughing with great fervor through the joyful times, and letting the salty tears flow when that was all you could do to console yourselves. Your mom thought she was a good influence and wished you had more friends like her. Her mom thought you were a little too quiet whenever you visited. You even knew her crazy t�as y t�os and whiny cousins. In short, you were inseparable.

If you were lovers, you spent whole days in bed just talking or messing up the sheets with your frenzied activity. You knew the position of every freckle, lunar, and birthmark on his body. You even had your own name for the scar on his lower back he got as a kid. You could not imagine going a day, week, or month without hearing his voice. It was unfathomable, because you were inseparable.

But things change, as they always do and as we fear.

You moved away to go to school. She moved even farther. He decided your once strong relationship wasn�t working. You agreed a break up would be best and decided to be �just friends.� You promised to keep in contact� call, email, write, IM, and visit. And you did, at least at first.

But things change, again. The calls are less frequent and the visits even less. And since the change is a gradual one, you barely notice, because in the time that you went from inseparable to acquaintance, you met new folks. You shared those best friend moments with others and dated other boys.

With time, they changed too.

Your former best friend gave her rock en espa�ol and gloomy British pop CD�s (think the Cure and the Smiths) to her little cousin. She doesn�t believe in affirmative action like you do, and admits that you spend too much time marching through the streets. And your ex boyfriend? Well, you struggle to have a conversation when he asks, �what�s new?� because you don�t want to mention what�s going on with your love life. You realize that he�s more interested in making beats and documentaries than in earning a bachelor�s degree.

Most importantly, you changed. You grew more responsible, less needy, stronger, and more focused. You decided what you wanted to do with your life. You even got a little jaded as you grew older. Maybe you didn�t change for the better, but you still changed.

So� what�s left? Christmas cards once a year, a few mutual friends, and lots of memories. Unlike some splits, the once fresh feelings of resentment and anger have subsided. It�s as if you two have a mutual yet unspoken understanding that you have already fulfilled the pre-destined purpose you were supposed to have on one another�s lives (well, for the time being).

I�ll end this with some questions. Do all the people you meet in your life have some sort of purpose in your life? Is it really fate that they come across and touch your life in some way? If this is the case, do you bring something to their lives? If so, what?

[Note: I had a lot of time to write tonight in study hall. I should've been putting the final touches on my statement of purpose, but I came up with this and two others instead. The others are private entries, they're just too personal.]

Me siento: horrible (damn cold)
Escuchando: tap tap tap tick tick tick

M�s reciente:
Searches - 09.16.05
the big move - 07.29.05
mother and daughter: a comparative analysis - 07.28.05
jardineros y dom�sticas - 07.27.05
tough question - 07.25.05

antes // despu�s