I'm currently watching Pope John Paul II's funeral Mass in Rome. I figured I would finally post my thoughts on his death and the reaction - both positive and negative - worldwide that has followed.

Written April 2, 2005 (in the morning)

I woke up, turned on the radio and was listening to music. The first update on the news on the hour was about Pope John Paul II.

El papa ha fallecido.

He died and the news came as a shock to me, even though I knew he was gravely ill. I'm still crying and I don't really know why. All this week and for the past few weeks as I've continued to hear news of his condition continually becoming more and more grave it didn't really seem to hit me.

All I know is that I was really annoyed with all the non-Catholics who don't truly understand what the Pope means to the faithful.

I'm far from the most pious Catholic, but this news has hit me hard.

When I was younger someone gave my dad a subscription to Reader's Digest. I don't know how much my dad read of them, but I frequently read through the small magazine before he even had a chance. I loved the silly and humorous anecdotes.

In one edition I found an excerpt of a biography of Karol Wojtyla (the Pope). I was fascinated by his life and by him as just another priest from Poland. I was saddened to learn that he was practically an orphan at a young age, and had to go into hiding during the Nazi occupation of Poland during World War II. In that excerpt, I also learned more about Wojytla's political influence in Poland as an archbishop and later how he helped to shape the events of the twentieth century. If I had never read that, I would not have learned about any of those things until now.

The fact that he was the same age as my grandfather also touched me. They were both born in 1920 a few months apart. Since then I figured that as long as the Pope lived through his ailments, my Pap� Chepe would live through his too.

This has hit me. Hard. It might even strengthen my faith, like Cindy Rabuy's death two years ago (almost to the day) did. I have a feeling it will.

Written April 6, 2005

After I recorded my intial thoughts I read some other things online. I went through my feeds and found a post written by one of my relatively new reads that greatly offended me. I ended up unsubscribing from that person's blog (he's an overrated writer anyway).

I honestly do not mind people being critical of the Pope or the Catholic Church. It is their right. What did bother me was the sense of disrespect. He had only been dead a few hours, and this particular blogger was already ranting against the Catholic church, those who were holding vigil in Saint Peter's Square, and the Pope himself.

Written April 9, 2005

I was raised Catholic. It's safe to say that my family is devoutly Catholic. My parents and siblings have all -- at one time or another -- been involved in some ministry in our parish. This isn't much different from many other Mexican families, but I suppose it's more significant in my family since my parents met when they were involved in a youth group at an East LA church.

I continue to practice my faith. And I constantly struggle with it. I don't see myself ever giving up in that struggle. My faith is deeply ingrained in me, and I sincerely believe that it has played a significant role in who I am today. Rejecting my faith and the Catholic Church would be like rejecting my family and a big part of my community. I can't do it. I know... I've tried.

As Catholicism is once again in the world's spotlight, I simply ask that I am allowed to experience something very personal without needing to explain to people why I am still a practicing Catholic.

Let me mourn. Let me reflect on my faith. Let me pray for el Papa. Let me reflect on his life, work and influence worldwide.

Gracias.

Edit:
I read this a few hours after el Papa's death. I liked what Nebur wrote.

Me siento: somber
Escuchando: pope's funeral

M�s reciente:
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jardineros y dom�sticas - 07.27.05
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antes // despu�s