I had a really strange dream Saturday night. Maybe I can attribute it to being sick, but it was still slightly disturbing. In the dream I was laying in a bed, perhaps reading, next to my assistant director, Angel. He was lying stomach down and probably studying. I don't remember if we exchanged any words or if we just kept to ourselves on the bed. All of a sudden, Angel leans over to me and begins kissing my neck and then my lips. I freaked out, but I didn't make him stop because I kind of liked it. I debated in my head. One side of me, the more rational part, said, "Don't do this! Melina is your friend, and your employee. You've been in this situation before, remember? And it sucks!" Just like the little angel/devil scenes on sitcoms, I fought with my own devil. He tried to tell me that Melina wouldn't find out, and to keep kissing Angel back because it felt good.

I don't know which side of me won out, because that was all I remembered of the dream. Of course with all my weird dreams, I try to analyze them. I think I figured it out. One, I'm really missing that physical closeness I had with Dominic. Yeah, we were 380 miles away, but when we were together it was so great. Dominic knew how to make me feel good. Now that I know I'll see him in New York I have little fantasies of fooling around with him again.

Another thing about this couple that I was coming between is that I see them all the time in the office being very affectionate. They're the king and queen of PDA's. They've been together over a year. They work together, live together and can't even sit apart at staff meetings. Sometimes, it really annoys me. I used to compare their relationship to mine only because they had so much closeness and time together that Dominic and I lacked. They saw each other on a day to day basis, and I got to see Dominic about once a month if I was lucky. So, I think the dream reflected my envy for the type of relationship they had (though I knew I'd feel smothered if I saw my boyfriend everywhere I went).

Finally, I still feel guilty about messing around with a guy I knew had a girlfriend. Yeah, that was a bad decision.

Me siento: alright
Escuchando: commercials on la tele

M�s reciente:
Searches - 09.16.05
the big move - 07.29.05
mother and daughter: a comparative analysis - 07.28.05
jardineros y dom�sticas - 07.27.05
tough question - 07.25.05

antes // despu�s