Do you share any of the alcohol exposure stories I have mentioned? How has alcohol shaped your relations with any one person/family member? How harshly do you judge the people in your life who have not been taught how to claim a personal victory over their drug of choice? (from Jason again)

In the fall of fourth grade, my father finally broke down, admitted that he was powerless over alcohol and checked into a treatment center. For a whole month, he stayed at the rehab center away from family and went through treatment in order to become sober.

While he was gone, it was just my mom and my siblings at home. We'd visit the sterile hospital on the weekends. I didn't understand much then what he was going through. I didn't comprehend how alcohol had affected my father, my family and myself. At 11, terms like sobriety and chemical dependency don't make much sense.

But I was a curious kid. I'd ask lots of questions during our weekly visits to the rehab center an hour away from our home. When he finally returned, I read everything I could get my hands on that would tell me more about what it was that my father was going through.

I knew my father was going to be different when he left treatment, but I didn't know how.

Twelve years later, my father is still sober and I've learned much more about alcoholism and how it has shaped me and my family. I interviewed my mother and brother a few years ago on how they coped with my father as an alcoholic. It was then that I truly learned how it had affected us.

I used to think I was so different from all the other kids I grew up. I didn't know anyone else who's father or mother was an alcoholic. I rarely even talked about it with my siblings. I found out what I knew through my father and his AA magazines. When I got to college, I found that a number of friends had similar experiences. I saw how alcoholism could have vast and profound effects on their lives. Most of their experiences were worse. Their fathers didn't stop drinking when they were still kids.

I feel I was kind of lucky. Growing up with an alcoholic father has made me more cautious with alcohol. My faith was strengthened. I found new respect for the father I looked up to. I realized that he was one of the few lucky ones to make it past 100 days or a 1 year or 10 years sober. I learned from him, and he learned from me. I think from that point on I really started to grow up. I realized that my life wasn't perfect and neither was my family. I began to learn more about my father as more than just the man I called dad. He opened up to his kids and showed signs of weakness. Everything changed from that point on, and I'm thankful for it.

To this day, I still think of a lot of problems in terms of how my father viewed his alcoholism and AA philosophy. I look at what I can control and what is out of my control. I try to let some things go and just put them in God's hands. I say the Serenity Prayer, it helps.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.

Me siento: tired
Escuchando: nada

M�s reciente:
Searches - 09.16.05
the big move - 07.29.05
mother and daughter: a comparative analysis - 07.28.05
jardineros y dom�sticas - 07.27.05
tough question - 07.25.05

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