�I had a weird experience the other day,� Vane whined to Nahui and Erika while we were at their apartment.

�What happened?� Nahui asked attentively.

�Well,� Vane looked at me hesitating for a second, but then decided to continue, �I saw Chalio� with a girl.�

�Really, did she have short light hair?� I was curious, but still feeling a little weird to hear this news about my ex.

�Yeah,� Vane replied to me.

Then Nahui jumped in again, �Oh, that�s Gabby.� Erika nodded her head in agreement as if they knew about Chalio and That Girl.

Of course I knew. I�ve known for a year and a half now and it bothers me that it still bugs me to hear of them hanging out together. I first saw the Turtle and That Girl together at a party at Ralph�s apartment in the fall of 2000. Ooh� I was so jealous! How dare he bring her over to a mutual friend�s apartment! Yeah, I was pretty irrational. I followed my dad�s wise advice and didn�t let it get me down. Instead, I danced to Ramon Ayala ballads with Victor.

A few days later, on the bus to school she got on at her stop and sat right in front of me. She chatted with her friend about the weekend and the party. The nerve of her! Right in front of me she talked about a date with my ex. Surely, she knew who I was, and she had to have seen me when she boarded the Big Blue Bus. I got off at my stop near my class fuming ready to scream at the top of my lungs. I didn�t, of course. In fact, I never said anything to That Girl, even when she sat directly across a table at Nahui�s 21st birthday party at her home in San Fernando. I just pretended she didn�t exist while I joked with some other friends.

I admit, I must have seemed incredibly rude, but I really didn�t care. I just kept thinking of how HE would feel if I brought around someone I was seeing to places I knew he would be, like mutual friends� parties.

The Turtle and That Girl sightings continued. They were always awkward. He never introduced us. I found out her real name through Chispa. I dealt with it just fine, and pretended never to see either one. I even had my Mexican literature class with her and always avoided any contact or conversation with her. Thank god for huge lecture halls and anonymity.

So, now I hear of them hanging out again and it bugs me even more than it did at first. You see, there was a time when I wanted him back. I even made a little move, didn�t get the response I wanted so I backed off and moved on. Later, I found out that he wanted the second chance. Okay, really bad timing, because by then I had really moved on and no longer wanted the Turtle back. I made a mistake, though by not letting him know right away where I was at.

So, now I hear that he�s hanging out with That Girl again and it still fuckin� bugs me. You would think he had broken things off with me, but no it was the other way around. I broke things off because �my feelings had changed� (the reason I tolds him), and later I decided that I wanted to remain �just friends� rather than try and get back together. He went back to That Girl after I didn�t want him. [Okay, that sounds mean, but it�s true.]

She was the leftovers, second choice, the one he�s using to move on. I wonder if she knows this and all the history. Probably not, but being in the cruel mood I�m in I�d like to rub it in her face.

This still bugs me. I know I�m being unfair and pretty mean. Just as I�m happy with Dom, he should be happy too. Right? There�s a difference though, he�s never seen me with Dom, so he doesn�t know how it feels, or I assume he doesn�t. He does know how to lose though.

Me siento: mean
Escuchando: Baile de Mascaras por Maldita Vecindad

M�s reciente:
Searches - 09.16.05
the big move - 07.29.05
mother and daughter: a comparative analysis - 07.28.05
jardineros y dom�sticas - 07.27.05
tough question - 07.25.05

antes // despu�s