Since Monday I have been in director�s training for the position with Calm�cac. I show up at 9 for a session until 1 p.m. with Mandla, a consultant and alumnus, who helps us develop skills for planning, supervision and other things we�ll need as directors of student-run and student-initiated programs.

After the session with Mandla, I meet with Henry (outgoing director) for 3 more hours of training about counseling methodologies, tracking tools, academic policies and a host of other things. It feels like information overload, but at the same time that�s okay because I keep realizing that there is so much I need to learn.

One thing I really need to work on is my assertiveness, especially since I have to be the supervisor with a staff of 13. The presenter today, a woman from UCLA Human Resources, clarified the differences between assertive, passive, passive aggressive and passive.

If I had to place myself anywhere on that continuum, it would be straight passive. I�m too fuckin� passive, it�s one of my worst character flaws. I may even be a little passive aggressive (I try to get my way without taking responsibility for it, manipulative), but I�m rarely assertive and even less aggressive in getting what I want.

It doesn�t seem so difficult to just tell a person your thought and feelings while at the same time having tact. Instead I just don�t say anything. I accept some situation or plan that I really don�t want, just so that the other person does not get his or her feelings hurt. I think I�m passive (and sometimes passive aggressive) because I want to avoid conflict at all costs. I generally want to be liked, so I�ll not admit to someone how I really feel to avoid more problems.

If I�m not assertive on this job, I�m not going to survive. I have to keep people enthusiastic about the work they�re doing while still making sure that we complete our goals. This is tough, and its all barely started.

Things I need to work on:

- Timeliness (today was Angel�s fault, really!)

- ASSERTIVENESS

[Side note: Does this at all seem ironic to anyone else? Me, the former student leader and student activist is passive! I think I�m being too harsh on myself. I�m passive when it comes to certain things, like relationships� uh.]

Me siento: a'ight
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M�s reciente:
Searches - 09.16.05
the big move - 07.29.05
mother and daughter: a comparative analysis - 07.28.05
jardineros y dom�sticas - 07.27.05
tough question - 07.25.05

antes // despu�s