Update: I found my ganas.

It turns out that they really hadn't gone anywhere, I just didn't know where to look.

My own pseudo-personal cheerleader sent me this really beautiful email. It made me cry. Hopefully he won't mind me sharing it:

Saturday May 14, 2005

My Dear Cindy,

I wish you the best on your exams... I know that you have been stuck in a rut... but I'm praying for you and I wish you well. As you focus on your exam... just think about why it is that you wanted to get a PHD in the first place.... Think about your family, think about your tios and tias, your cousins, and others who are not where you are at. Think about your brother getting tracked and how that might be a reason of why he is not where you are at today. Think about all those Chicanos/Chicanas out there who rely on AB540 to go to school, think about people in the fields, in the factories, crossing the border, think about the women--young women your age-- who ride the bus in Juarez and other border towns to go to the maquiladoras--who are murdered every day--to support their families. Think about all the babosos who use our people as scapegoats to advanced their own agendas of white supremacy disguised as many things--187, 209, 227, The minutemen..etc....Most of all, think about all the young Chicanos/Chicanas you are inspiring as you blaze your path through these WHITE Gauntlets called universities....think about how you are changing them, so subsequent generations won't struggle like you have....Most importantly, think about what you have said previously:

"I look forward with hope to the day when the headlines in the papers proclaim that the obstacles older generations of Latinas faced have been eradicated by the tireless work of those who care so much to make positive change.

We have an obligation to service, as it is one of the missions of UCLA along with education and research. We will go on to graduate and be the leaders of the Los Angeles community and beyond. But we must not wait until we earn a degree to begin working for our youth. Hopefully, we will all take advantage of the many excellent opportunities to get involved in the lives of our youth and the people in our communities."

Cindy M
Monday April 30,2001
Daily Bruin

Finally, mi querida amiga....Remember the thoughtful words of one of our fallen Chicano Heroes....

"Our history is deeply rooted in the soil of this land that WE are reclaiming" J.A. Burciaga

I'm praying for you,
Suerte...se que triunfaras

P

I feel blessed to have such a friend who can remind me of words I forgot I wrote, of conversation I forgot we had, and of ganas and inspiration I temporarily lost.

Me siento: jittery
Escuchando: i must not think bad thoughts - x

M�s reciente:
Searches - 09.16.05
the big move - 07.29.05
mother and daughter: a comparative analysis - 07.28.05
jardineros y dom�sticas - 07.27.05
tough question - 07.25.05

antes // despu�s