i don't like decisions
06.12.03 // 11:09 p.m.

I shouldn't be stressed during finals week should I? I mean, I don't have a single final to take and all I need to do is write a budget proposal for summer funding. Wrong. I get stressed because I wait until the last minute to do stuff.

And to top it all off, I've been feeling odd lately. I don't know. I make one decision and then doubt it like crazy later. I know I should think things through, but damn can I at least settle on one thing?

I've always been like this. I used to ask other people to make decisions for me just because I didn't want to make them myself. It could be as little and insignicant as should I have a Tokyo Tea or Amaretto Sour? Or as big as should I move back home?

Um... in between this all, I've been trying to work on graduation gifts for my best friends, Chispa, Pato, Ome, Nahui and Laurita. It's a massive project. I didn't realize that I've documented the last five years very well. So, I'm reading through old journals, emails (almost 200!) and ransacking my brain for inside jokes, memories, stories and all kinds of other things I can include in their gifts. Naturally, this is making me hella nostalgic.

I don't necessarily want to go back to that first summer we met because - for the most part - I'm fine where I am right now. However, if I could just visit Sproul Hall in August of 1998 just for a day, I'd be satisfied.

It'd remind of how this all started. How we became such tight friends. How we became able to almost read each other's minds and grow to tell each other things we wouldn't mention to anyone else. It's amazing.

Okay... enough of that for now. Are you satisfied?

Postscript: congrats to the baby brother who just graduated from high school. I went back there too, it didn't make me nostalgic.

And to Itchy, my favorite cat in San Francisco, rest in peace.

Comments: 2 comments [this feature no longer works]

Me siento: meh
Escuchando: nada

M�s reciente:
Searches - 09.16.05
the big move - 07.29.05
mother and daughter: a comparative analysis - 07.28.05
jardineros y dom�sticas - 07.27.05
tough question - 07.25.05

antes // despu�s


star star star