I had a good talk with Ome last night about the houseguest who has worn out his welcome. I wanted to talk to her before I talked to Pato because I wanted to know how she felt about the situation and if she had any gripes. It turns out she feels the same way.

On Friday, I griped about Ernie without giving any background information, so I figure I should fill it in. Exactly one month ago I graduated from school. I had the party at my house after the first ceremony, and the next day I went over to Ome�s house in East Los to celebrate Ralph�s graduation from his Master�s program. It turned out that I wasn�t feeling the party too much, so I left before ten and returned to my apartment.

Once there I found a note from Pato saying that she was sorry she hadn�t asked, but hoped it was okay for her brother to stay for the night. I got a chance to talk to her a little when she returned from her mom�s house. I knew the situation with Ernie had to do with some family drama because there was no other place he could stay.

Ome, Vane and I didn�t have a problem with it. Usually it would be nice to know more in advance, but I think we all understood the fact that this had just come up and it was important for us to support Pato in making sure that her brother had a place to stay.

Later that night, Ernie came over. It was probably past 11 because I left a little later to watch the M�xico vs. US game (sob, sob) and he wasn�t there yet.

I think by the next day, Pato told us a little more about the situation. Ernie, an 18 or 19 year old who just finished up his first year of college, had no place to stay. He was going to be staying with us for a little while, and all he was going to use the apartment for was to sleep pretty much.

Now, at this point I think we�re all still cool with the situation. That first week, Ernie tried hard to stay out of the way. He helped out around the apartment too. He even picked me up from the airport because no one else was around. I didn�t mind at all really.

It�s been one month, and he�s pretty much worn out his welcome. Several things bug me, and when I talked to Ome I realized that she wasn�t too happy either. She vented to Ralph and I vented to Vane, but we haven�t brought our concerns to Pato yet.

How do I bring this up to her? Should I tell her that it bugs me that he�s at the apartment all the time, that sometimes I don�t feel comfortable if he�s around? Should I say, hey your brother needs to contribute to our expenses rather than just have his huge fan and computer on all the time?

At first I thought I was being stingy by thinking of things like the electricity bill (considering I�m the one who pays it), phone and food that we buy. However, I know that money is tight for all of us. I have a full time job right now, but I�m not willing to feed a grown man (Ernie is huge). Plus, I�m thinking those electricity bills are going to be much higher. I don�t know where he calls to either, but it kind of bugs me that his friends call the apartment. Last night, the same guy called him 4 times. It bugged the hell out of me.

Ernie has also had friends over before. They�ve taken our parking spots too! Grr� don�t mess with my parking spot. I don�t want to buy food or drinks because I�m afraid he�s going to eat/drink them all. I even think about storing things like my Hansen�s juices in my room so he won�t drink them. To give him credit, he does buy food sometimes. The computer game he plays is too loud; sometimes the music is too loud; and I think he�s been using by body wash!

There�s a whole list of things, but what bugs me most is that Pato has not let us know what the situation is, how/why it�s changed and what we should expect. We�re the only ones paying rent and utilities right now, but I think he should contribute something, especially if he�ll be staying for the whole summer.

Ideally, he wouldn�t even be staying with us and he could work out the issues he has with his stepfather. I like living with Ome and Pato and Vane (though now she�s gone). At least with them, we had common understandings and lots of unspoken rules we usually followed. We knew what belonged to whom and when to stay out of the way of each other. That�s certainly not there with Ernie, considering Ome and I barely know him and Pato even admits to having a week relationship with him.

Sigh� assertiveness would really help out in this situation. I think I�m going to use my negative feedback skills I learned in training to talk to Pato, at least to find out what�s going on and try to get her to talk to Ernie about what�s going on. I�m not sure if it�s appropriate for us to talk to him about the living situation, though we can tell him to not leave the fan/computer on all the time. Oh yeah, and Ralph made a good point by telling Ome and myself that we kind of let this happen by not finding out what was going on after the first few days.

Me siento: calm and collected
Escuchando: "Love Rain" by Jill Scott

M�s reciente:
Searches - 09.16.05
the big move - 07.29.05
mother and daughter: a comparative analysis - 07.28.05
jardineros y dom�sticas - 07.27.05
tough question - 07.25.05

antes // despu�s