I have so many thoughts going on in my head and rumbles in my stomach and aches in my back. Even if I tried to get it out in a furious 70 wpm frenzy free write, I wouldn't be able to. It's just too much. It's a week where I feel weak, strong, confused, hungry, thirsty, alone, and supported all at the same time.

Rain fell one night, and it fell hard. The next night, there were a few clouds, today there was a sky that was only as clear as it is after the rain in LA. Two wispy clouds sitting lonely in the heavens. The air was crisp and cool. The moon was full.

I feel alone. She tells me that I am MIA. She emails me. I respond almost immediately. No hard feelings. That was a week ago. I feel alone.

I feel attacked. My second family is being called racist and being compared to Nazis. Excuse me. I've been part of this organization (MEChA) for 5 years, almost exactly. I work for MEChA. I don't need to wear a tshirt to call myself a Mechista. I feel attacked.

Yet, I feel supported with all the folks on campus out there with us.

I feel like I accomplished something I've been trying to do for 2 years, apply to graduate school. I did it, yet I don't feel any sense that this is finished even with the last application turned in and completed. I don't know where I'll be or how I'll pay for it. I can just feel the worry coming on.

I feel like the project is falling apart, yet it's still running. I feel overwhelmed. I feel tired. I need sleep. I need someone to listen to me. Yet I don't want to talk. I just want to write and get it all out this way.

I want to cry. I think that's what I need. A nice long cry. Salty tears to expunge all this negative energy. I need a hug... I miss human contact.

Me siento: see above
Escuchando: "let it be" the beatles

M�s reciente:
Searches - 09.16.05
the big move - 07.29.05
mother and daughter: a comparative analysis - 07.28.05
jardineros y dom�sticas - 07.27.05
tough question - 07.25.05

antes // despu�s