02.16.05 // 8:58 a.m.
I'm no comedian, but there was one part of her film that reminded me of something I wrote in here a couple years ago. In fact, it was one of my favorite entries.
So, I'm recycling it. I am still not a fetish.
No, I am not a Tejano music star whose heart rhythmically beated "bidi bidi bom bom" each time her lover neared but was silenced by the bullets of a crazed woman. I am not Selena (though I do admire her talent).
No, I don’t have the ass and weak singing skills of Jennifer "J.Lo" Lopez.
No, I have not dyed my hair blonde and "crossed over" to the mainstream in skimpy clothes all while belly dancing as Shakira has done.
No, I don’t play some of the most admired women in Latin America, such as Minerva "Mariposa" Mirabal or Frida Kahlo like Salma Hayek.
No, I don’t kick ass on a television series a la Jessica Alba.
No, I’m not a stick-thin española who is mistaken as a "Latina" and dates Tom cruise. I am not Penelope Cruz.
No, I’ve never recorded "canciones de mi padre" en español even though I don’t speak the language. No soy Linda Ronstadt.
No, I don’t whine "Billeeee!" in White Men Can’t Jump like Rosie Perez.
No, I’ve never worn a headdress filled with bananas and other tropical fruit as Carmen Miranda once did.
No, I did not play the stereotypical Mexican spit-fire-sex-kitten in several Hollywood films. No, I am not Dolores del Río (though I do love her name).
No, I don’t have big hair like Charo, otra española who is "latina."
No, I am not a former MTV vee-jay and model. I am not Daisy Fuentes.
No, I do not sing Americanized forms of typical Cuban music produced by the Miami Sound Machine like Gloria Estefan (I really do like most of her music).
No, I am not a half-ecuatoriana, platinum blonde with horrifying makeup. I am not a genie in a bottle and don’t rub me the wrong way. No soy Christina Aguilera.
No, I do not sing "I like to leev een America..." on a rooftop as Rosita Moreno once did in West Side Story.
And, NO I am not the woman on the label of those awful canned beans, Rosarita.Comments: 7 comments [this feature no longer works]
Me siento: unmotivated
Escuchando: Morning Edition on NPR