crush #11, the extended version
04.10.03 // 7:25 p.m.

Per Secu's request.

Just because I wrote the least about him does not mean that he is the least significant. So, more about him...

I met Secu in July 2001 when I decided to go out to dinner with some friends. They were meeting up at Roscoe's one Friday evening. I knew that Secu would be in town because that's what Scott told me, but I didn't know him. All I knew was that they would be eating at the world famous Roscoe's Chicken n' Waffles and that I wanted to know what the hype was all about. Secu was in town at the time because he was visiting family. He'd be returning that night to his home in Chicago.

At the restaraunt, I didn't really talk to him too much. Secu recalls that in the restaraunt, I sat about as far as possible from him while still at the table. He was right, but I didn't do it because I thought he had cooties or something. I just sat on the end and talked to the other guys I was with (again, I was the only girl). After a lovely dinner of chicken, and you guessed it, waffles (!) we headed out to a club to catch some local hip hop groups.

There wasn't much conversation there either. The place was crowded and in order for Secu to say anything that I could hear, he had to literally yell. It was cool though, and then he left.

Later, I got ahold of Secu through IM and the friendship continued. There was the obligatory jokes and even some flirting. He thought I was cute, but he had a girlfriend back then and I was too busy to care about boys. Even joked that if he wasn't taken he'd have tried to put the moves on me. I was flattered.

So, our relationship continued like this for a while, maybe a year or so. When Secu was online, we'd "talk" about anything from coping with long distance to how our day was going. It wasn't until last fall when we started talking on the phone. By then, my relationship with the Redhead had already ended and he was no longer with his (ex) girlfriend.

He came to LA in early November and we got to chill together for all of half an hour before he caught his red eye flight home. It was good to see him again though, even under the circumstances. He came to LA for his cousin's funeral services. When I saw him that time he showed me his progress on a picture he had been sketching based on a picture of me. I've never been drawn before (at least not seriously) and I thought it was fabulous.

I think our first conversation on the phone lasted a couple of hours. It was so natural, he told me a lot, and I listened even though I was tired and almost falling asleep. We talked about why Chicago was a better city than New York, past crushes, family, whatever.

As this continued, Secu began alluding to a "thin line." He told me that the song "Thin line" by Jurassic 5 made him think of me. That song fit too, because even though Secu liked me (more than I realized), I just wanted to be friends.

So, when did I cross this thin line? I don't know for certain. I remember being in San Diego at my aunt's house a few days before Christmas thinking of him and it felt like something a bit scary. You know, feelings!

What drew me to Secu (by the way, as I write this, I keep typing his real name, erasing it and writing his nickname...)? What made me cross that thin line? What the hell made me decide to admit it considering we live 25,000 miles away from each other and all? (Yeah, yeah, I know Chicago is not that far, but it is...)

For one, it was his sense of humor. He has this ability to have me rolling on the floor laughing. He cheers me up when I'm down and makes me feel happier when I'm already feeling good. We have these amazing conversations, and sometimes I wonder what exactly we spent 113 minutes on. We've got these crazy inside jokes that I don't even want to explain to anyone else. He makes me feel beautiful, even when I'm in my hate the world attitude. He calls me preciosa, mamita linda, bella, and all these other lovely words in Spanish. Oh yes! We have conversaciones en espa�ol, mi primer idioma, even though I don't speak it as fluently as I'd like to. It's nice though, very nice to be able to speak in my first language with a boy I like. He's intelligent too, which is one of the key things that attracts me to people of both sexes. One minute we can be reciting line for line Eddie Murphy's jokes from Raw and then the next we'll be talking about positive and negative punishment or important women in Mexican history. Secu learned to read at a young age and even skipped kindergarten. Finally, he's an artist, and I find that sexy.

All the qualities and talents that attracted me to Secu make me happy, isn't that all that's important?

[Hey... I did this all without even talking about looks... I'll save that for later.]

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