Quick preface: this was actually an assignment I wrote for my Bilingual Autobiography: Comedy y Cultura seminar during the fall 2000 quarter. On the first day of class the instructor asked us to introduce ourselves, but to tell more about ourselves than just our name, year and major(s). She wanted us to include things like our physical appearance, hobbies, music we liked, family, etc. While we did this, she took note of words or phrases that stuck out from each person's intro. For me she picked "short brown hair and stuff" (the way I described my physical appearance). I went home and wrote this. Enjoy (or not).

Short brown hair and stuff�

At the young age of six, I was already a hard-core rebel, ready to put anything on the line to get my way. Well, I wasn�t fighting for la causa, but I was fighting for freedom, that is to wear my long, shiny brown hair the way I wished. I complained to my mom, about having my hair done in the same boring style every morning: two symmetrical braids tied with ligas. I hated those braids more than the morning ritual itself.

Each morning at precisely 7:23 she would begin the traumatic routine. First, she would meticulously part my waist-length hair with a comb or a pencil. Then she�d pull my hair tightly while I cringed. That little movement would result in a nagging ��No te muevas!� After scolding me, she�d braid my soft hair into two neat braids. If I was lucky it would be quick and over before I could even think about how much I detested those braids.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but I truly believed that those two snakes of hair down my back made me look like a baby. I was convinced that my brother�s cute friend, Juan, wouldn�t like a girl who looked like she was still in diapers. So, I took inspiration from all those Chicanas and Chicanos who walked out of East LA Schools in �68 and said ��Ya basta!� I didn�t care if I looked like a gre�uda; I wanted my waist length coffee colored hair to flow in the wind as I chased Juan around the blacktop� free!

Well, when you�re six Mom has the last word. The deal was that if I wanted to �free� my pelo lasio I�d have to cut it short. Fine, if that was the price I�d have to pay for freedom then I�d chop it off. So, my mom marched me off to get a �boy cut� from my T�a Luisa who was in beauty school at the time. I came out of her home with a horrifying bowl/mushroom cut. Bottom line is I hated it. But, its hair and it grows.

Fast-forward 12 years. Throughout high school I had long hair. I cut it in the �Rachel� style a few times, but it was never short. I had made up my mind that I would never cut my hair any higher than shoulder length. You see, my hair has always been a sense of pride for me. Since I was a kid, people have envied its healthiness, shininess and length. In middle school my friend, Ana, used to make me pretend I was a Pantene Pro-V model. I also felt that in order for me to be a mujer I needed to have the long hair that my grandfather and father loved so much. The long hair was a sense of security for me. Since I have never felt too confident about my figure, I thought that I could hide behind long and beautiful hair.

The summer before my first year at UCLA, I got a haircut from my T�a Luisa, again. And even though I didn�t want it to be so short, she cut it short. Well, it was chin length. And you know what, I kind of liked it. It didn�t look so bad. I could save money on shampoo, it was low maintenance and it was perfect for the summer. Now, I like having �short brown hair and stuff.� By stuff I mean the too-small plain brown eyes, my mom�s cute nose, the lunares or beauty marks on my cheek, the �trombone lips� (as my mom would say), and even the slight scar on my cheek given to me by my cousin Veronica years ago. I like my small hands, small feet, the R shaped birthmark on my shin and the two dots that resemble eyes on my arm. All this �stuff� is what makes me, and I guess by learning to finally be comfortable with the length of my hair, I learned to be comfortable with this body that houses my soul.

Me siento:
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M�s reciente:
Searches - 09.16.05
the big move - 07.29.05
mother and daughter: a comparative analysis - 07.28.05
jardineros y dom�sticas - 07.27.05
tough question - 07.25.05

antes // despu�s